<\/p>\n
I’m back.<\/strong><\/p>\n And ready for absolutely anything that comes my way. I’m in the throws of a contentious divorce and intent on breaking the grip of decades of bad decisions. But that was then.<\/p>\n This is now.<\/p>\n Today I am exhilarated by freedom from a man with so many demons I’ve lost count, each of which he continues to cling to at all cost.<\/p>\n A couple years of this site’s content was taken along with the teenage daughter, furniture, car, kids photo albums and pizza cutter. Seriously?<\/p>\n After getting caught for the millionth time with a subscription to a child pornography website among other socially fringe content, I finally followed through on my promise of divorce. Of course he was shocked. His apologies and promises to quit, if laid end-to-end, would circle the earth 666 times.<\/p>\n He was kind enough to absolutely insure that we would never again speak by faking a Temporary Restraining Order (it’s California, folks. The guy is among his deranged peers as I was advised by the train-wreck of a court mediator that he is free to peruse any illicit content he wishes as long as my daughter doesn’t catch him–no exaggeration).<\/p>\n The timeline: He was purportedly “punched” on a Monday. He waited until Friday to file the order and remove me from my home (which included separating me from my daughter). Showed up with a moving van on Saturday. (Thank God I had already had the doors he had violently shattered in his most recent violent rage replaced by that time!)<\/p>\n I was allowed back into my emptied home Wednesday. Just like that. Oh, the efficiency of the court system and the deviant brain.<\/p>\n Alas, the California legal system and the mentally ill. There’s a mad love affair in there somewhere.<\/p>\n What I most want to convey is that no matter how distorted your life gets–and I certainly grew complacent to the bubbling deviancy within my own home–every rise of the sun is a new opportunity to right the ship. It just takes one day to break the cycle. Porn addiction, especially when it’s been the greater part of someone’s life, is never cured, and rarely managed. That’s the bad news.<\/p>\n In fact, just as Hugh Hefner, a life-long pornography addict can only be aroused and satiated by watching movies of gay men having sex (per his last wife) the condition only escalates. It takes greater and greater deviancy to satiate the viewer. Real partners are but a distraction.<\/p>\n Don’t take it personally and don’t allow them to project their illness on you.<\/p>\n Hand-in-hand with porn addiction is often found the co-morbid narcissism. Sadly, narcissism nullifies 12-step or similar treatment programs. In the narcissist’s world, there is nothing greater than himself which confounds the framework of 12-step concept, which is based on the overarching power of God, a power greater than one’s self.<\/p>\n Add to that the social stigma, perpetuation of shame and secrecy, fear, and judgement often laid upon the victims of the addicts, and you have a perfected cycle of endless pain. Most of those with whom I shared this horrible secret–law enforcement, child psychiatrist, court mediator–rolled their eyes and advised me “it’s just what guys do.”<\/p>\n It’s not “just what guys do.” I’m no prude, but the fruits of this behavior do not result in good.<\/p>\n I may be a living and breathing testament that it is survivable. By the grace of God and all His mercies, you, too, can survive this. It’s not easy. Lord knows, it’s one of the hardest things you may ever do. But it is possible, and freedom from this evil is pure joy.<\/p>\n I am proof.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" I’m back. And ready for absolutely anything that comes my way. I’m in the throws of a contentious divorce and intent on breaking the grip of decades of bad decisions. But that was then. This is now. 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